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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I recall what happened after I broke up with her. A strong feeling of isolation and confusion really struck me hard. Why? you may ask, we technically did not break up at all. Its like those scenes in the movies whereby its been forced. True, I may not be a millionaire's son, I would probably never ever afford a Lamborghini to drive her around at. But its the feeling that bound me and Rachel together, just as her mum and dad did. After we have been seperated by the glass pane of the airport, something seriously struck me. Growing up and experiencing such emotions of loss was seriously insane, especially at an age of 17.

I recall myself going to that place and reminiscing on all of the memories. I just could not let go. Probably one of the most time wasting stuffs that I have done would be to walk from my house to the airport, going to our spot and just stare at space, rain or shine. It took me a few months before I was back to my cheery self. That was the time where I was able to let go finally.

Memories are always nice to hold on to. It is the same way to how scars remind you of certain things better. Mutual understanding between couples is always essential. Probably my dad will never understand that. My mum has mentioned to him before that she may have cancer. However, my dad still does not care. I still do not understand how he could be so heartless. True, I have made a mistake by provoking him after he said that but still, she's your wife. From today onwards, I do not have a Father anymore. He has officially died 2 nights ago. Now, I only worry for my brother.

Trying to be happy is sometimes hard. However, I seriously do not want anyone to worry. Its just not worth their time. The person that I kinda need the most will never be there for me. That will be a fact that will never change. The only thing I can do now is...?

Mesmerized within time...
9:35 AM