My inner sanctum.

Monday, July 31, 2006

There has been a saying, Long before your time......................................................................................................................................................................

In a land far far away......................................................................................................................................................................

There was.......................................................................................................................................................................

A man.......................................................................................................................................................................

and a woman.....................................................................................................................................................................

PROJS ARE GOING TO END SOON!!!!! one more left to go... =D

i am now damn interested in the willy wonka candy!!! dammit... =D

Mesmerized within time...

4:59 PM

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

There comes a time when traditional roles should be abolished... THAT DREADED DAY IS HERE!!!!! my family is quite fun... in a way that everybody leads a quite relaxing life... why? CAUSE I DO ALL THE DAMN HOUSEWORK!!!!

So guys, please do not be shy when it comes into doing housework.. u can consult me on how to mop floor and wash the toilet bowl... =D

sometimes i wonder my parents want me to study htm to be professional maid for them or wad... OR EVEN AN AIR STEWARD JUST TO GET FREE AIR TICKETS FOR THEM.. SO SWEET RIGHT!?!?! ^^

Going home today wif Din and Tricia was kinda fun today... for some reason... we were talking about kukujiao... =D

dammit.. i wish i was rich.. LOL!!!

Mesmerized within time...

12:23 AM

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

MaRkIe`-s is roughly back... SIAO EH!!! PROJ WANNA MAKE ME KI SIAO LIAO!!!!

but ai zai... my lao bu say if there is a will... there is a way... dammit... her ang moh sibei power... i think if o lvl she retake again i think she will get A+++++++... then my fucked up ang moh get A1 nia... sibei sian... nvm... my lao pei ang moh is quite lousy also... so balance.. LOL!!!!

During my grandma's wake all my uncle and auntie wah lau eh!!!! dammit!!!!! all say my brother damn good looking... then cfm will be better lookin than me.. because of one thing... my bro the eyelash hor... TMD!!!! LONGER THAN MINE!!!!! WTF!!!! nvm... i think i wanna go zhen rong alr... then maybe can make my face less chubbier... my lao pei the fat cells gt the better of me... but i still maintain my lao bu the slim figure.. -_-###

Lookin at how big and dangerous my bro is getting into the nationally recognized TAF club for ah bui... i am gg to start a diet plan and exercise plan so he wun go in and know other ah bui...

talking about ah bui... i gt one very good bro who say she wanna slim down within 5 months, 2 weeks and counting... today she ate zi cha wif me, silin and lion... GOOD LUCK AH BUI!!!! LOL!!!! =D but kimmie ah bui rocks la... dun say i never praise you hor... THANKS FOR THE FREE MOVIE!! =D

Friday is lim bei issue presentation wif Shana liao... i still dunno wad should i cover... May god bless me... Guang ying pu sa pls bao you me... Amen...

There are lotsa BSC events coming up!! so do look out for it!! =D

*i think that the previous sentence is the only piece of decent english that i had typed out for this entry... LOL!!!!!

Mesmerized within time...

11:14 PM

Friday, July 14, 2006

Everything happens with an irony. My grandma passed on onto a new journey with our lord on Tuesday, the 11th of July (11/7/2006) at 7.11pm or (19:11). I can't really explain the time similarities but i am really thankful to our lord for letting me to be by her during her last few mins. nothing can really describe the anguish and shock that i felt when she had finished her final breath. I really wept my tears out with almost no end during the moments after her passing on. I will still say this, I love my grandma and thank you lord yet again, for all of the memories and blessing me with such a wonderful person whom has impacted my life.

It was at TTS hospital, a few days after her right leg was amputated. I was rather upset by the fact that she had to have her right leg amputated due to the doctor's probable mistake. The reason for this would be due to the fact that given her age, and her current condition, i was concerned that she would not be able to survive the operation. Miraculously, after praying deeply, she had seemed to gain a glimmer of light towards the path for recovery. However, the night before on Monday, everything changed. Her condition became from bad to worse. In addition, she had then fell into a coma where breathing seemed even difficult for her. I really began to have emotions of despair and sadness. I was actually melancholic the whole time even as i was seen smiling and joking. I reached the hospital at around 6pm and i had called upon her and stayed by her side as i would usually do. Having interesting conversations with my uncle and my dad was really a fun one as my uncle had made some funny jokes from his experiences in Thailand. However, laughter soon turned into tears as me and my uncle noticed the irregularities of her breathing patterns. A few moments later, she has left us to join God.

I was even furthur saddened as my uncle and my aunts told me that it must be that my grandma was only waiting for me as my other relatives who visited her, she did not really make any response or reaction to them but to me, she actually made a reaction. They also told me that she was waiting for me. It took little time for me to break down to my knees and cry again.

I know its quite gay as many people would say that i am quite a crybaby when it pertains to this issue but i do hope that people would understand that it is extremely painful to lose people that you are really close to and truly love. This applies especially even to people who share memories, laughter and experiences with you. I am still griefing over her departure even till today.

Back at school, i still do look cheerful and stuff as i do not want anybody to feel demoralised and dejected due to my emotions. I do realize that i am extremely fake but I always do that regardless of the situation because i want to see happy faces for everyone. I do not mind sacrificing for the benefit of others. I can somehow take it as i have been conditioned since young on how to handle certain situations like this. Therefore, i am quite strong when it pertains to this department.

Please do not as me if I feel sad or painful. I will never say i do so. Emotions are always hanging in my head and heart regardless of anything. However, I always make it a point to smile and bring happiness to everyone around me. That's just my personality. Yes, it is fake and an ass to do so, as i know certain people would say. But its just me. fullstop.

Sometimes i wish I was the one who would go so that i would not cause people trouble and make people feel irritated. Somehow, i feel that the world would be better without my existence. Just don't know why but that is probably how i feel. Sorry if I had made you angry, pissed or irritated. I am trying to change everyday before i do not get a chance to give you a good impression as i pass on soon as well.

Life has to move on. Yes. But someone has told me that crudely as i was grieving on a similar situation at the past. I would always go by the point of not judging people when you do not truly know them cause they will always surprise you. That's an old saying. But i just want people to realize not to assume you know something if you have not experienced it before. cause people will just hate you for that. A girl had told me once to move on with a family's passing, crudely. That is true. but Fuck you for that. You live an extremely good and blessed life with a good full family with almost no troubles at all. If you have no intention of being compassionate for a person who just lost someone they love, just shut the fuck up. I would not say that in front of any people. But i will just keep it in my heart. I might forgive, but I will never ever forget. People may think that i am an extremely fake person. But i am true and sincere in everything that i do. Its up to you to believe it or not.

Thank you to my friends and family who show me the concern that i really needed. I really appreciated it. Thank you once again. I will still smile regardless of what happens at the end of the day to you all. :)

Mesmerized within time...

1:30 AM

Monday, July 03, 2006

This is some surbey which i did.. LOL!!!!

They say my sign is the Earth.. LOL!!

◎Your life is represented by the garden of wealth, which means you are generous and very lucky to live a pretty comfortable life. You keep your word and you like kind and determined people. You look like an easy-going person but you are actually quite determined. It's hard to tell what's on your mind and you tend to keep a low profile.◎

Your characteristics, subconscious, and behavior modes, according to your fate and destiny, are represented by the garden. The garden is the foundation and home for flower, grass and creation, but people only notice the beautiful flowers, green leaves and not the earth under their feet.

The garden is trampled upon all the time but never complains, so you are just like the garden soil, which provides nutrition to many creatures, but is not appreciated. You sacrifice yourself for others, which brings you many problems when they take advantage of your kindness. Most people neglect your contribution, and only discover your importance when you leave your original position. The main part of a garden is the soil, so you rarely changing, which make you a bit dull to others. You are amiable, smart, and understand things clearly, but keep your thoughts and viewpoints inside your heart. Your appearance is very amiable, but you are very rigid in your heart and will persist and not give up.

You admire people who are heroic, dominating and a bit arrogant, but also respect those who are unselfish and lenient with others. Your entire life is like the garden, not catching too much attention, but cultivated silently in the background. When luck and fortune come, you will be far better off than many others because you have been cultivated over a long period of time.

◎Health Analysis: The function of your nephridium water system is weaker.◎

According to your destiny analysis, the function of your nephridium water system is weaker. Your physical strength is not as good as others, and you always feel tired and have cold hands and feet in the winter. You have had no major problems when you were young, but over age 40, additional care of your nephridium water system is needed, or it may easily lead to blood pressure, anemia and heart problems, or even insomnia, accidie, cranial nerve anemic, hearing problems, kidney problems, urocystitis, urethrits, heart and blood vessel problems. Therefore, you should avoid fatigue, maintain a stable and regular lifestyle and schedule, and sleep and wake early in order to protect a congenitally weaker nephridium water system system. Also avoid iced and cold drinks and reduce the frequency of sexual activities in order to maintain good vitality.

There's a saying that all disease starts from the mouth, which means many human diseases are related to food. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, food can be divided into gold, wood, water, fire and earth (concept of the five elements). You seem to prefer the salty flavors, especially in seasonings, which means your cells are filled with too much water element. This negatively affects your health, fortune and career, so we suggest you try different foods to balance your diet and nutrition, which leads to harmony in life and a balance of yin and yang based on the five elements. In addition, if you have recently felt unlucky or things were not going smoothly, then you are probably affected by bad spirit, which caused bad luck. The best solution is not to eat meat and fish for a period of time until the bad spirit goes away. The bad spirit tends to stay with those who eat meat and fish, and also chicken, duck, green onion, garlic, leek and other spices, so a vegetarian diet can help change your luck.

◎Health Analysis: The function of your respiratory system is weaker as well.◎

The function of your respiratory system is weaker as well, and you have had minor problems like allergies, runny nose, cough, cold, chest pain, diarrhea and constipation when you were young. But over age 40, additional care of your respiratory system is needed, or it may lead to nasosinutisis, asthma, bronchopneumonia, bronchitis, intestines polyp and proctitis. Therefore, you should avoid fatigue and smoking, maintain a stable, regular lifestyle and schedule, and sleep and wake early in order to protect a congenitally weaker respiratory system.

According to your destiny analysis, your working and living environment tends to be a bit messy and without good air circulation, which is not good for your respiratory system. You tend to be anxious, lack patience and tolerance, which means you don't get along well with friends.

If you want to change your fate and destiny, breath deeply for five minutes per day, maintain good air circulation, and open a window or door in your room. As long as you have sufficient oxygen in your body, your destiny will be completely changed with better health, more wealth and happiness coming into your life.

◎You are willing to be devoted, dedicated and sacrifice for a relationship. Your love is full of romance, so to be your companion is to be blessed with love and happiness. But when the passion cools down in romantic love, many problems emerge, which require your tolerance and wisdom to overcome.◎

In romance, according to our analysis, you tend to fall in love at first sight with someone you admire in your heart. A sweet romance develops quickly but doesn't last long because it's difficult to maintain the same level of passion from beginning to end. Generally speaking, women have quite a good first impression of you because you have the charm and finesse to chase after your love interest. But after dating for a while, your passion and level of interest declines. You tend to like a person at first sight, but not after a period of time. Your romantic partner may like you at first sight, but also loses interest after a period of time. Therefore, if you are still waiting for a good romance, try to conceal your outer beauty in order to find more sincere and suitable lovers who aren't just attracted to your looks. Then true romance will come your way.

In the journey of life, your romantic or marriage partner may appear easily, and most possibly someone in your life and social circle. She could be introduced through school, work, or community association. You may marry early, so if you are still seeking your love partner look among the people around you; the person who is most innocent, cute, pretty and attractive might possibly be the one. As long as you pursue the relationship with a sincere heart, the happiness is right beside you.

◎Career Analysis: Most of your jobs, in any industry, require some professional training or expertise.◎

Most of your jobs, in any industry, require some professional training or expertise. For example, finance banker, accountant, engineer, lawyer, government official, consultant, etc. As long as you gain more professional experience and new industry knowledge, your value in a company will be irreplaceable. If you choose jobs that require professional training, your work will go smoothly (jobs that are labor intensive are not suitable). You tend, however, to think from only your own point of view, so you may lack the broad perspective for higher management. You should further strengthen your experience, and if you want to reach the next professional level, then you should be more understanding and considerate of other employees and communicate more, in order to improve your leadership ability.

◎Wealth Analysis: You know how to make money and save money, so you are seldom short of cash.◎

According to your destiny analysis, you know how to make money and save money, so you are seldom short of cash. You knew the importance of the money since you were very young, so you started investing earlier than others. Therefore, you were making money with investments while others were spending money and enjoying their lives. In addition, you were born very clever, and will not spend money if unnecessary, but you are very interested in investing in your own business and keen to be your own boss. You will save most of your wealth to invest in real estate or to establish your own business. Afterwards, you will bequest most of your wealth to your descendants.

Mesmerized within time...

9:45 PM