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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Judging the way things are going now, I seriously hope I do not get myself into a state where I would go into either Isolation or suicide. As previously logged, the only place I feel at home is in my room. Parents bickering. Things have just escalated beyond the boiling point. They are going to divorce. Sense just would not go into my dad's ego. I kinda lost quite a lot of blood just now, not fighting against him but rather, self-inflicting it on myself.

She also does not seem to care still. I kinda need someone now, especially her to help me get back up to my feet. However, she really does not care. She is really blessed. Seriously. But till date, I still feel that I am just a toy and an instrument for her. Maybe cause of I can give her some of the things that she desires? I have always strived to be there for her. However, I think that probably she can never be there for me. Just a one way thing. Or even she just wants to use me and stuffs. Probably she really thinks the same way. Maybe I am better off dead earlier.

Mesmerized within time...
12:07 AM