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Monday, September 24, 2007

what am i doin... Livin life day by day... workin day by day...

Honestly, I have not been catchin up with friends nor even going out. The only time i have is late at night, where clubbing is the only option. Staying in office until late at night has become a norm for me... What is it for? For cash? Not really, its more about the experience and passion I guess. Looking at the perks present for me if I join back, I really want to make an impact and work hard now. I really dislike this quality of mine, my need for materialistic items as well as the desire to constantly live the high life.

Fortunately, IF I join back and work hard, and hit a target of $2million revenue per year, I would get a rough commission of 6% provided if I manage my costs and gross profits well. That would work out to getting $120,000. Of course, that amount is tough even for an experienced sales person. Its good even if I hit $1million!

Sometimes, I do wanna cry when i listen to my current blog song. The reason would be because its everything that symbolizes 2 people whom have feelings for each other but cant be together. I somehow wanna fall in love again. Just to un-numb my heart which has become cold over the years. However, I can't seem to let myself do that. At least for now. Probably its because of fear, fear of being controlled without freedom.

I remember a story that my parents told me about really experiencing life. To be honest, I found it quite hilarious that they actually wanted to talk to me about not working so much. Today, I kind of regretted not heeding their advice. To be honest, I have not experienced life which has been fun as much as I wanted. Working my ass off just for something called money to satisfy my materialistic urges which I throw away after a while. All the brands, all the high life, for what? I really do wonder to myself.

I do not have much time left, I have yet to travel to Spain. Army is still a long way more to go, Everything kinda sucks a lot. To be honest, I have not celebrated my birthday in a long long time. I have always avoided celebrating it for some reason. Why? I seriously wonder why.

Everything kinda really is demoralising now. I kinda need a motivational drive again. Something that will rekindle that burning flame within me. Music has always sustained the dwindling fire. But it cant last forever.

Forever...

I am still caught within my mirage lullaby..... I need someone to get me out. Fast.

Mesmerized within time...
7:11 PM