My inner sanctum.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Its been some time since I really had some time to chill and relax by myself... some time to reminisce on the stuffs I have been doing recently... TO be honest, Time really flies after graduation... No longer are the days of slacking ard at sch, etc.

However, WOrk is what I need to generate cash... Cash to realize my materialistic dreams... I do realize that I am quite the spendthrift. But my morale in life would be the usual quote: Life is short, JUZ WHACK! =D

But when will life ever be not short?

My ans: NEVER

Even eternity has a limit... Limit to complete everything there is to complete... HUmans rarely attain a level of self-actualization and fulfilment... Humans are greedy by nature... Once we realize a level of status, we would always thirst for more... An example would be if you have travelled the world, you wouldwant to travel to the moon...

Been quite pissed at my lifespan right now.. I know I only have a few years left compared to lots of people's tens of years... Why does it have to be like that? I look like some kinda drug addict that takes so many god damned pills prescribed by Tan Tock Seng.. It seriously sucks... seriously... I still have so much more I have yet to experience.. Tho probably noone would really realize or care.. But its alright... I kinda anticipate it... Been 2 months since I last had a relapse. Its getting worser... But probably, my desire to live would be my only fire that would keep me going... I really wanna experience more there is to life...

On a lighter note, I have been finally able to shake offsome of my piano rust... I am kinda learning again how to play neyo's Because of you... LOL!

Been doin some soul searching on Sunday... I never realized that I could be quite scary sometimes... I was lookin at the mirror as I was emo-ing randomly.... Came from my balcony and wanted to wash my face.... Suddenly, I kinda saw red eyes from my reflection.... I really gt kinda freaked out.... But it was gone the next moment i blinked my eye... Now thats scary... shit... I just hope its some haullucination... Probably I've been too stressed recently....

The rainy season has just started again and I am constantly looking outside into the midst of the raindrops.. As always, memories came back to haunt me again... Somehow, I can't just forget abt Rachel for some reason.. Everytime I thought i could forgetabt her, she comes back and the flames are rekindled in our hearts... But I must realize one thing.. We are too similar.. Everytime she comes back, She'd spend a few nights at my place as usual.. and if it rains, we'd just embrace in each other's arms... Somehow, the rain kinda represents us... Our firsts always occur at rainy days...

First question, First contact, bla bla bla, you get the picture... If you ask why we broke up, We never broke up officially... She just had to go to Canada... I couldonly return to Tokyo.. 2 ends of the world... No relationship could ever work probably... Have never seen one like this work before.

Been Listening to Because of You and Apologize by Timbaland.. Perfect on a rainy day.. Perfect to just lay on my bed and think of her... Thats for Because of You

The song, Apologize would be more for thinkin up how to make up for some stuffs that I did. But I guess its kinda impossible to do so at this point of time.

Would be moving in for my major exhibition soon. 48 hours straight with rest @ Pan Pacific Hotel and maybe clubbing on Wed... yep... Sometimes I just wanna breakaway...

I will update soon and probably post another mini story... Have penned down some inspirations recently.. yep... soon..

Mesmerized within time...

6:40 PM