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Friday, February 09, 2007

She called me at 3am.. thats like around 3pm in Toronto. It was like a magical experience. Never did i thought that a conversation like this would happen again. But I was seriously glad that I had stayed up pondering about certain stuffs. It has been almost close to 18 months since I had last seen her as she came back home. Lots of things had happened during this time frame, and indeed, many things have changed. To be honest, i will admit this at this point of time. If she wants me to do so, I will pack up everything and leave for Toronto. I would probably try to emigrate there if i could. However, I do realize that not everything would be a smooth way to go. Memories of us just gliding along our peak, falling down from our stairs, just everything. I thought i had found a similar person some time ago. However, it did struck me at one point, you still can't be replaced regardless. I still do keep our neoprints tucked and locked away as i do cherish the memories that we had together. I did not want to forget an important part of my life. I do admit that since you left, I had found quite a few to try to take your place. However, the feeling was never like that before. I really hate myself for deleting my former blog just to try forgetting the emptiness that I had experienced directly after you had left. However, it was a move that would help me move on.

What was said just now during the phone call was really something that gave me tears of joy. But at the same time, it reopened the emptiness that i had experienced. However, this shall be a time when i try to be strong and kill off all those negative emotions. I am currently facing quite a few stuffs. But the bright thing was during the journey home with Tricia, many things were opened up and re-analyzed. Bui eh told me once not to be so flirt. To be honest, that is embedded into my blood. I always constantly challenge myself to do different sweet things to girls. However, i do make it clear and i distinguish that its quite normal for me to do so. The reason for this is because of the things that i did for you in the past, made you so happy. Probably that is the reason to why i am doing it now. However, it is not the same. This year's Valentine's I shall be spending it with someone. But honestly, our Valentine's is still the best in my opinion. The piano at the esplanade library, to dinner at Ma Maison, with me playing our song, the surprise of the rose petal decorated heart shaped box of chocolates I made, together with the glass collage you made of us, it can't be simply just forgotten like that. To be honest, I dun even think i may do it for other girls, not any that i know of.

Once again, I am enclosed into my own mirage lullaby.

Mesmerized within time...
4:02 AM