My inner sanctum.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Kill me la.... siao eh... need to repeat my fucking sip cause of my leg injury.... nvm... zzz... LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!!! LOL!!!!!! at least i can get to find a better place? heck la... i take things one step at a time and how they come along.... aka: di di pa ti ti.... LOL! would be workin at iggy's for e moment i guess... the pay of 1 hr $7 is attractive... LOL!!!!!! and maybe i can take up some piano lessons again to resume my grade 6... LOL!

Mesmerized within time...

7:16 PM

Thursday, November 09, 2006

fuck me... i've throughly wasted my one month MC... LOL!!! dammit... and because of the fucking one month MC, i may fail my SIP... Now, I ONLY BLAME MYSELF FOR NOT REMEMBERING THE BLOODY CAR LICENCE PLATE NUMBER OTHERWISE I CAN FUCKING KICK THAT CB KIA'S BALLS!

On a brighter note, i think i have gained LOTS of excessive rest at the moment... but fuck that... i'd rather be at attachment and do my freakin cheap labor so that i can graduate in PEACE!

Mesmerized within time...

10:54 PM

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Desert Rose
why do you live alone
if you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
are you white blue or bloody red
all I can see is drowning in cold grey sand

The winds of time
you knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst
I wanna run away
I dont know how to set me free to live
my mind cries out feeling pain

I've been roaming to find myself
how long have I been feeling endless hurt
falling down rain flows into my heart
in the pain I'm waiting for you
can't go back
no place to go back to
life is lost. Flowers fall
if its all dreams
now wake me up
If its all real
just kill me

I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
it scares me to look at the world
don't want to find myself lost in your eyes
I've tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
run away from you without saying any words
what I dont wanna lose is love

Through my eyes time goes by like tears
my emotions losing the color of life
kill my heart
release all my pain
I'm shouting out loud
insanity takes hold over of me

Turning away from the wall
nothing I can see
the scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
he calls me from within
"All existance you see before you must be wiped out:
Dream, Reality, Memories
and yourself"

I begin to lose control of myself
my lust is so blind, destroys my mind
nobody can stop my turning to madness
no matter how you try to hold me in your heart
why do you wanna raise these walls
I dont know the meaning of hatred
my brain gets blown away hearing the words of lies
I only want to hold your love

Stab the dolls filled with hate
wash your self in their blood
drive to the raging current of time
swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"
shout and start creating confusion
shed your blood for pleasure
and what? For love?
what am I supossed to do?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
past and future prison my heart
time is Blind
but I wanna trace my love
on the walls of time over pain in my heart

Art of life
insane blade stabbing dreams
try to break the truth now
but I can't heal this broken heart in pain
cannot start to live, cannot end my life
keep on crying

Close my eyes
time breathes I can hear
all love and sadness melt in my heart
dry my tears
wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life outside my walls

You can't drive of yesterday, so
you're painting your heart with your blood
you can't say "No"
only turning the wheel of time
with a rope around your neck
you build a wall of mortality and take a breath
from between the bricks
you make up imaginary enemies and are chased by them
you're trying to commit suicide
you're satisfied with your prologue
now your painting your first chapter black
you are putting the scraps of life together
and trying to make an asylum for yourself
you're hitting a bell at the edge of the stage and
you are trying to kill me

I believe in the madness called "Now"
time goes flowing, breaking my heart
wanna live
can't let my heart kill myself
still I haven't found what I'm looking for

Art of life
I try to stop myself
but my heart goes to destroying the truth
tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
do I try to live, do I try to love
in my dream

I'm breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
nobody can stop
I'm running to freedom
no matter how you try to hold me in your world
like a doll carried by the flow of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was inchains of memory half-blinded
losing my heart, walking in the sea of dreams

Close my eyes
rose breathes I can hear
all love and sadness melt in my heart
dry my tears
wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my mind

Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream
I can't stop myself
don't know what I am
what lies are truth?
what truths are lies?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
time goes flowing breaking my heart
wanna live
can't let my heart kill myself
still I havent found what I'm looking for

Art of life
I try to stop myself
but my heart goes to destroying the truth
tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
do I try to live, do I try to love

Art of life
an Eternal Bleeding Heart
you never wanna breath you last
wanna live
can't let my heart kill myself
still I'm feeling for
a rose is breathing love
in my life

Mesmerized within time...

12:54 AM