My inner sanctum.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Well well, it seems as if its the end of the exams today but there is still one more lame paper yet to be taken... well, basically, what i have done these few days is to attentively attempt to log into blogspot but CANT!!! dammit!!! i think its got to do with my cookies or sth like that... -_-###

anywho, in a short summary, i have screwed my paper... dammit lor!!! yeah.. tho i got a lot of useful facts down and i have taken the stupid damned liberty to rewrite the whole damn notes!!!! yes, no mistake... REWRITE!!!! and that includes all of the lectures and all of the subjects!!! damn!!! i think i am just a little too stupid in my case... But oh well, shucks... i have just discovered another weakness... well, 2 actually of mine when i go for exams.. Firstly, i love to daydream in the middle of the exam especially when i am thinking hard or remembering a detail in the examination... This really sux especially if you have not enough time to even stop!!!! Anywho, the 2nd weakness i have discovered which is really shocking is with my writing speed... I JUST CANNOT WRITE FASTER!!!! -___-### oh well, what's over is over and i really hope and pray that i can get decent results this time round for the examinations.... really need a serious good luck charm....

It'll be now i suppose, that i will conclude that having great coursework marks is really nothing... cause if you screw up in the exams... you'd die the same... well, my coursework marks aint that fantastic but its at least rather decent... But i always do this stupid thing... screw up at the main examinations with my faults and weaknesses as mentioned above... But at least basically, You would be aware that in school life, hard work is always what counts. But there is a contradictary statement to this... if what i had said about hard work and school life is true, then we all know that we work hard in school just to get a good position in the future so that we would not have to "work" so hard right..? But in the real corporate working world, its creativity, bootlicking (for some people), talent and luck which mainly enables people to succeed.. Well, i know i am contradicting myself but la la la la....

JOBS.....

Have been working at Iggy's for the past few days and stuff and i am really really drained with all the schedules and stuff that constantly just keeps coming and coming... but well, i do all of these just to LIVE in a way... working to support yourself aint easy and stuff but i have to do it to learn how to be independant....

Dad and mom have been arguing over an issue recently, which is money.... Well, ever since i lat wrote the composition of a title named, My family, where every primary school kid, or mostly, would write proudly of what their parents do and what line they are in, i have a rather unique case of not even knowing what line my parents does... In the past, as a kid.... i had the mischevious concept and behaviour of putting my *Cute face* in front of them and try to force out some tears out just to stop them from fighting... But now, since i have grown so much, i cant use that tactic anymore.. and whenever i try to stop them from fighting, it gets worse... there was this instant when my mum actually tried to kill herself over a quarrel over money as well... Well, i knew my mum would not be so stupid to kill herself and that she was acting but hey... you know thre situation was really serious then and you really had to convince the person constantly shouting, who was my dad to STFU and start consoling her... things worked out well and everything was at peace... well, for that short period of time when a few months later, everything started again, things were thrown, etc. Living a life like this for a few years well, technically 14 years probably? since i've stopped them from quarrelling? It aint really easy to do such things and to "constantly innovate" new ideas to stop the argument and for them to patch up.

I still remembered the period of time when my mum was still having my baby brother, that it was a Golden period of peace where mum and dad were so loving and stuff... 9 years since then, after my brother has been born, things are getting a little serious now.... Well, all i know from my dad is that my mum constantly gets cheated or wadeva and that she slacks everyday and only cares about her karaoke and stuff... No income from her... she does not work... but my mum like kinda has this office or sth... maybe she is a property agent or an insurance agent or a freelancer or sth... anywho,

My mum's comments about my dad... Constantly plays mahjong... drinking or wadeva shit.... does not care about the family, etc. always thinks he is right, and all the badmouthing comments you can imagine... Sad to say but its really depressing to see two people who loved each other so much turn into like that.. maybe the love just is not there anymore but i really cannot stop thinking about it...

Personally, everytime they argue over money.. it really gets so irritating and annoying that i do not care anymore... started to lock myself up in the room, or go out of the house to chill out... cause the efforts that i had put in was really not enough anymore... Its really sad though.. i really hope they just dun quarrel till a divorce case arises, i would never stand for it...

Well, on a lighter note, the holidays are coming!!! yeah.. time for work again... shall use the time well to step back and relax and earn all the money possible!!! YES!!

oh well, oh yes... shall take this time to thank a few people who have really helped me over the past few days!!!!! Firstly, my mugging exam partners!!! thanks!!!! and to one that i had walked all the way from east coast park to bedok!!!! you know who you are.. ;) and to boon and co.!! look forward to petals on friday!!! haha... well, would typically start my "highly anticipated" novel collections with stories i have thought of during the boring MRT and bus journets soon!!! would start once it reaches the hols with a targetted 3 strories a week!!!!!

Wish me luck for my results and tomorrow's Lodging paper!!!!! lalala.....

Mesmerized within time...

8:17 PM